I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Boobs are out for the taking
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
