just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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