I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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