i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
