I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
