My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
