i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize