I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize