I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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