the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
