Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize