I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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