I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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