first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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