thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
