I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
