sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
