You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
