WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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