please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
