My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was born a porn star she said
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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