I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
