So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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