Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
