I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
