Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
