id be glad to
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
