if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Success! We fucked roommates!
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