the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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