we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So apparently I’m into choking now
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