How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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