I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
