its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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