Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
