Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
ttyl tear gas
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
