I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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