it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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