People with herpes should wear stickers.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
