I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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