Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
