that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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