I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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