Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize