i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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