kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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