Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
