So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
