some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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