The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
3 2 1 whiskey
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
