And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
