I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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