really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
