I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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