He had one of those small greek statue penises
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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