u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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