Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize