I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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