Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
