Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Girls should come with a carfax report
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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