I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
