you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
