Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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