There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
last night I used snow as a chaser
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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