Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
