I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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