If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
