i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
